Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
