Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my sisters under your porch take her home
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
