you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
