I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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