Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
