Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize