You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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