obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize