google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
