he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
