Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
