i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
