you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
