found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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