do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize