Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
