He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
