Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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