I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
