That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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