New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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