I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
