HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
