She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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