did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize