Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
