I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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