What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
