Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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