he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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