I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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