We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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