It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
