So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
