a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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