Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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