There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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