can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
