i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
