two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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