i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
