I'm drive I can fine osifer
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
