Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
