THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
