So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
