During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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