At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
