we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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