You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
