I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
