i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize