I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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