He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Who died my cat blue again?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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