Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
