Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
