i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
