They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize