it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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