My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize