So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
