No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
