wat bout pragnant strippers??
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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