hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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