Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
