If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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