I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
