Whoa Z and x make the same sound
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
