I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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