Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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