Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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