Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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