you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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