Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
