I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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